Since 2021, I’ve kept a list of things that God has dropped in my spirit through prayer time, reading the word, or while in church. I’ve decided to share some of them here, almost in diary form. Before taking any of these statements to heart, please first make sure that it aligns with Scripture.
October 5, 2022:
“Dear God, What do I need in order to feel less mentally and emotionally drained?”
“Discipline.”
May 2024: I remember my 2022 prayer well…
I don’t typically struggle with feeling like I have “too much on my plate.” And, I do have quite a bit on my plate! Thankfully, God has blessed me to where being able to “figure it out” and “get things done,” comes fairly easily.
Yet, while a laundry list of physical tasks never burdened me, I’ve experienced a different hardship.
For years – beginning way before the pandemic – I struggled with not knowing when I’d have a chance to “rest.” I could elaborate on so many specifics. But ultimately, it created a sort-of anxiety in me that would manifest in my body as a palpable fear.
It was different than just needing a break. (We all need and crave rest breaks.) And it was different than feeling overworked after a long period of time. It was also different than my introverted desire to recharge in solitude.
It was a worrisome – and incessant – anticipation of emotional “rest.”
I’ve recently discovered that emotional exhaustion can come as a result of emotional abuse; which actually explains a lot.
Because of the things that were happening around – and to – me, I needed to know that there would be a time to reconnect with, and to settle, myself. I needed to know that – at least, for a moment – joy, peace and calm would collide in my soul.
I knew how to cultivate that feeling of rest; and I always looked forward to indulging in it.
Externally, it looked like: me drinking tea + watching a show, while the rest of my household napped to ocean sounds. Internally, it felt like being quenched with water. Like, a revitalizing necessity.
So… when my schedule started to look as though I would never get a moment to self, I felt an extreme overwhelm kick in, and I knew it was finally time to ask God for help.
In short, I asked: “How can I combat this emotional exhaustion?” He dropped one word in my spirit: Discipline.
He helped me to budget my time; prioritizing Him at the top of my day and throughout. And, after creating my schedule, I realized just how much down time I was able to carve out in each day so that I might enjoy a few moments of rest.
My schedule has gone through many iterations over the years, and I truly consider it to be “Divinely Inspired.” I cannot take credit for being able to manage all that I manage. I am literally doing what God has led me to do.
He gives me strength, energy and focus. On top of my work schedule, He has helped me to carve out: worship time, family time, social time, leisure time and silent time. Of course, I sometimes veer off and get distracted. When that happens, I’m always reminded about the benefits of being disciplined.
Now, two years later, I no longer feel that emotional exhaustion. And, guess what?
IT’S NOT BECAUSE OF THE SCHEDULE!
As I’ve said before on this site: Spiritual obedience gives way to practical obedience. In seeking guidance from God, He used practical means to focus my attention. The newfound focus enabled me to hear Him more clearly with regards to other areas of my life. And, He was eventually able to bring me to a place of deliverance.
He delivered me out from negative situations and He drew me into Jesus’ hands. I now understand what it means to “rest” in Christ. This is the very rest I needed.
The “rest” I’ve craved all these years was essentially a desire for “safety” more than anything. Now, don’t get me wrong: I still indulge in my tea and TV time. I still love my silent time and alone time. And – although I am a person who loves to socialize – I am still very much an introvert who recharges in solitude.
All that said, I don’t struggle with emotional exhaustion anymore. I know that I am safe in Christ. His presence is a perpetual calm and I honestly don’t have to search for – or try to create – comfort, the way I used to.
I believe that people who have experienced emotional exhaustion will relate to exactly what I’m saying. So, here is a prayer for comfort. I pray that you will experience the love and safety found in Jesus.
Lexzie in Christ 